Annotated transcript of McCain’s appearance on “The Daily Show with Jon Stewart”, Thursday, August 16
Here is a complete, annotated transcript of Senator McCain’s appearance on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, on Thursday, August 16, 2007.
STEWART – My guest tonight: a Republican senator from the state of Arizona, who’s also running for President. His new book is called Hard Call -please welcome back to the program, Senator John McCain!!! Senator!
(Loud cheering and applause)
McCAIN – Now, didn’t you hear him say, that I was taking over the show, and he was going to the Senate? Did you hear it? Look at that… (More loud cheering and applause)
STEWART – I don’t have that much time to waste. (“wooohs” from the crowd)
McCAIN – But - you know what that means, if he’s going to the Senate?
STEWART – Cloture?
McCAIN – He’s going to be President - of the United States! And… (Cheering)
STEWART- Get back in your seat – damn you!…. (They switch seats) You know, last time you were here, I’m glad to see you again - we got in a tiff last time – I don’t remember what it was about. But I’m glad to see you again..
McCAIN - I’ve forgotten about it….
STEWART – I’ve completely forgotten about it… you’ve written another book!… what is this?
McCAIN – I’m glad to see you. But did I - just mention again, I think this could be quite a moment, in American political history, if you’re gonna run for President. All Senators have to run for President… right? (gesturing to the crowd)
STEWART – No – they do not.
McCAIN - Unless you’re under indictment or detoxification, you automatically consider yourself, a candidate for President of the United States…
STEWART - But when was the last Senator that won, though? That’s - you know, you see, that’s the thing- why don’t the Senators win?
McCAIN – You had to bring that up.
STEWART – What is it about being in the Senate?
McCAIN – It’s not funny, it’s not funny!
[Note from The Tower: Stewart correctly notes that Senators have not fared well in presidential races. John Kerry in 2004 and Bob Dole in 1996 both went directly from the Senate to their parties’ nominations, and lost. Both Walter Mondale and Al Gore had served in the Senate, prior to becoming Vice President, and ultimately lost in 1984 and 2000, respectively. The last Presidents to have ever served in the Senate at any point, were Richard Nixon, elected in 1968, Lyndon Johnson, in 1963 (after being elected Vice President). Prior to them, there was John F. Kennedy, whom Johnson succeeded upon his assassination, - JFK was the last Senator to go directly to the White House.
STEWART – This book is your fifth… Are you like Stephen King, now? How many books – do you, what do you do? You’re running for President, you’re in the Senate, you’re writing books… do you - hate your family?
McCAIN – (laughing)
STEWART – What’s going on? What’s going on, here? This is like the third, this year.
McCain – (laughing) – No, no… STEWART - Is Voldemort in this? [Note from The Tower: Voldemort is the villain in the wildly popular Harry Potter series.)
McCAIN – You and I - I liked it a lot better, sitting over there (motioning to the host’s seat.)
STEWART – Yeah, this is where all the jokes are, my friend!
McCAIN – Congratulations, and thank you, for having me on, for the tenth time.
STEWART: Tenth time…
McCAIN – It’s my tenth appearance, and it goes back to the 2000 campaign.
STEWART – That’s true.
McCAIN - Long before some of you were born. And I’d like to thank you…
STEWART – A simpler time, and…
McCAIN – A simpler time in American history; the best of times, the worst of times…
STEWART – Now, what’s going on with your campaign? People - I read people are leaving, that it’s just you now, on that big bus….what…
McCAIN – In the words of Chairman Mao – “It’s always darkest, before it’s totally black.”
STEWART – (Iaughing hard) Is it- has this been a trying period? What’s- what’s going on?
McCAIN - You go through trying periods. These things go up and down. We’re doing fine. I’m happy with where we are. We’re spending a lot of time, in the town hall meetings. And it’s very enjoyable, and we’re gonna stay with it… STEWART – You’re staying with it?
McCAIN – Oh, sure…
STEWART – Let me ask you a question: Is Romney human?
McCAIN (laughing) – I will leave that to those, who have the…
STEWART – Scientists?
(Big laugh from the crowd, and McCain.)
McCAIN (laughing)…
STEWART - Let me ask you a question. At what point does all…
McCAIN – Let me tell you, how much fun it is to be in a debate, with nine other candidates…
STEWART – Yeah, those things are absolutely ridiculous!
McCAIN - Yeah, I know. Well – it certainly is a little bit numbing, when you know it’s going to be nine or ten minutes, before you’re asked another question.
STEWART – Do you ever go to sleep? Do you ever just kind of shake around, and pop your head up? (laughter)
McCAIN – Occasionally, yeah. It gives one a chance to think about family, friends, wonderful things like that…
STEWART- No! It’s nice.
STEWART - Is there something that would - could happen? Like - what are you looking at, for the first couple of primaries? You feel like you gotta take, like, two out of three? What’s your…
McCAIN - In political history, since 1980, the nominee of both parties has had to win two out of the first three:
STEWART – Right.
McCAIN -We have to win. And we will. And we will. And I’m very confident. I’m very confident. I’m very confident.
STEWART- So you’re feelin’ it.
McCAIN (to the cheering crowd) – Thank you very much, God bless you, thank you (no thanks to you!)
STEWART – Do you feel like anything that you would change, as to what’s gone down so far? What would you have done, anything differently, after - so that you wouldn’t have had to hit the rough spot?
McCAIN - I think some of the planning on the finances, we obviously could have changed. But I think, that most people are gonna focus, probably, in September, when we start really getting into this. And by the way, you know, it’s escalated, moved back now; it’s going to be decided, apparently some time in January, now.
STEWART – The nomination?
McCAIN – Yeah, everyone’s moving their primary dates up.
STEWART -How hard is it to run to the base? You know, these primaries, it does seem like for the Democrats, they have to visit every special interest group. You know, they had the union debate, they had the Black Caucus debate, the gay forum debate…
McCAIN – YouTube.
STEWART – YouTube; leprechauns.
McCAIN – (laughing, along with crowd laughing)
STEWART – For the Republicans, the base is more homogeneous. But it seems like, it’s also – it allows the candidates, then – you know, I watch the debate: and they’re typically running on who’s tougher. Like you see, Romney, like : [bombastically] “I’d triple the size of
McCAIN – Well, let me just tell you, that I’d close Guantanamo Bay, and I’d declare we’d never torture another person in American custody.
(LOUD, LOUD cheer from the crowd, the biggest of the appearance)
McCAIN - And we would keep bad guys in prison, but we would have a process, for taking care of some kind of tribunal so…
STEWART – Why is that such a difficult issue, for people to wrap their heads around? I keep hearing these guys going, “we’ve gotta be able - we’ve gotten great information.”
McCAIN – I think it’s because life is not 24. As much as I love Jack Bauer. You know… ‘Tell me where the nuclear weapon is.’ “No.” “Boom”. I’ll tell you where it is.’ (gesturing in capitulation) That’s all you have to do!
STEWART – That’s not how it goes down in those things? All right, very interesting…
McCAIN – And Jack Bauer and I have a lot in common, you know.
STEWART – Really? Really? Do you? Are you fictional, sir? Is that what this is about?
McCAIN – He gets captured. I get captured. He escapes. I don’t escape. But, you know - it’s close, it’s very close. (Laughter).
STEWART- It’s close.
STEWART (wrapping up)- Here’s what I want to see, in the next, in the next upcoming run. I want to see the old John McCain.
McCAIN – You got it.
STEWART – I wanna see the guy out there, speaking it like it is, doing the thing, not givin’ a crap, doing what’s he’s gotta be doin’, to do the thing. Is that what I’m gonna see?
McCAIN – Yes!
STEWART - All right!
McCAIN – Yes!
STEWART - You know what, you can buy this book – but in a week and a half, he’ll have another one, so it doesn’t really matter. But it’s called Hard Call – it’s good to see you again. It’s always a pleasure. Hard Call’s on the bookshelves, now, Senator John McCain!!!
(Loud applause)
You can watch the full video of the original interview here. You can contact The Tower at tower@campaignia.org.